do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
