Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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