If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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