my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
