he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
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