I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
