3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
