I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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