Just fell off a train. Bad.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
