if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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