Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
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