You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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