I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
