im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
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