so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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