i jhust puked up my retainher.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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