Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize