VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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