At least make sure they are 18
Why
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
