i think my mom watched the whole time
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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