did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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