I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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