When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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