that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
