Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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