any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
