i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
