I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
