I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
