can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
