there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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