I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
