that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
