well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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