that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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