Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
