Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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