cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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