I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
