Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
