That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
