Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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