I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize