you guys were way drunker than both of me
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
