I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
