Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
