Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
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