last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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