She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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