smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
