The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize