Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
