I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize