If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
