This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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