Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
