Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
