He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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